At this critical moment of economic uncertainty, it is a blessing that
our brave President, Donald J. Trump, turns to faithful members of
The Church of Sycophantology for advice and comfort.

That is the mission of our church: to suck-up to the rich and powerful.
Our great leader will receive this sound advice: “You are a great, good genius so whatever you decide is the best decision possible.” This is our church’s

Even doubters of our faith must by now know that our President was
chosen to be our leader, that he is the greatest seer that has ever lived, and
the most honest, truthful, always right politician that has ever walked on the face
of this globe or any planet in the Universe.

The Church loves him, and blesses the country that is lucky enough to be
in his power.

Given a referendum, Greenland would certainly join our country. They might
even change their country’s name to “Trumpland.”