THANK YOU, OUR BENEFICENT OLIGARCHS

Spoiled, ingrates! Americans don't appreciate the good work our wealthy oligarchs do for them and our entire nation. Where would our museums, hospitals and soup kitchens be without their generosity and the tax code? They even spend millions of dollars every year helping us elect the finest politicians our country has to offer. That’s a public service.
It took our Savior Donald to realize our oligarchs’ incredible contributions. That is why He gave them a tax cut last year. About time! Americans don’t realize what tax haven savvy lawyers charge on an hourly basis. Our Savior knows. And our Savior knows what our wealthy oligarchs must pay to create LLC legal entities so they can freely spend their tax free money (a Right that was mistakenly excluded from the Bill of Rights), money that makes all of us, even the poorest individual, richer. 
The Church of Sycophantology adores our generous oligarchs, and sings their praises with joy, reverence and full-throated thankfulness. 

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WE SING PRAISES TO OUR OLIGARCHIC MASTER

KISS UP, KICK DOWN. SUCK UP, GO UP.