The Church of Sycophantology (www.churchofsycophantology.com) suspects that the recent attack on Brett Kavanaugh's legitimacy is an illegal and dangerous assault on Americans' Constitutional right to freely practice their religion. No surprise here: Brett is an important member of the Church's lay ministry, and is much admired by the Church's beer drinking acolytes.
"We make a religion of deceit and kissing ass." This is the foundation stone of Church doctrine. This creed is what we preach, believe, and live by. Brett's should be honored, not vilified, for his faithful adherence to the Church's teaching.
So why is Brett being singled out for persecution by non-believers? Treachery. We believe there is a small but powerful group of non-believers or heretics who want to weaken or destroy our sacred church. Why destroy this holy institution? So they can point to their own "goodness" and grab power for themselves. Get rid of devout Brett and put in his place a Church of Sycophantology enemy or agnostic instead.
These church enemies will learn they have more to gain by being in the Church than out. That is why we call on all Church supporters, especially those in the Congress and the White House, to support Brett against the infidels.
Here is Brett at this faithful best, as he swears to OUR Church's GOD: (Post. 9/16/2019):
During his committee testimony, Kavanaugh was unwavering in his dismissal of the claims.
“None of these allegations are true?” Sen. John Neely Kennedy (R-La.) asked then.
“Correct,” Kavanaugh replied.
“No doubt in your mind?” Kennedy said.
“Zero,” Kavanaugh said. “I’m 100 percent certain."
“Not even a scintilla?” Kennedy pressed.
“Not a scintilla; 100 percent certain, Senator,” Kavanaugh said.
“You swear to God?” Kennedy asked.
Kavanaugh agreed.
“I swear to God.”