WASHINGTON POST, SEPTEMBER 8, 2018
"The top two Republicans in Congress arrived at the White House this week armed with props aimed at flattering and cajoling President Trump out of shutting down the government at the end of this month...
The visual aids were a subtle but deft attempt to win over a president known to prefer visual imagery over wonky typed handouts, and eager to absorb flattery at a time when the White House is enveloped in chaos."
Spoiled, ingrates! Americans don't appreciate the good work our wealthy oligarchs do for them and our entire nation. Where would our museums, hospitals and soup kitchens be without their generosity and the tax code? They even spend millions of dollars every year helping us elect the finest politicians our country has to offer. That’s a public service.
It took our Savior Donald to realize our oligarchs’ incredible contributions. That is why He gave them a tax cut last year. About time! Americans don’t realize what tax haven savvy lawyers charge on an hourly basis. Our Savior knows. And our Savior knows what our wealthy oligarchs must pay to create LLC legal entities so they can freely spend their tax free money (a Right that was mistakenly excluded from the Bill of Rights), money that makes all of us, even the poorest individual, richer.
The Church of Sycophantology adores our generous oligarchs, and sings their praises with joy, reverence and full-throated thankfulness.
WE SING PRAISES TO OUR OLIGARCHIC MASTER
The Truth of The Church of Sycophantology Doctrine has finally been recognized by all three branches of the American Government. Yes, even the Supreme Court. "The deal made by Church member Justice Kennedy and Our Savior Donald J. Trump to have his acolyte nominated in exchange for his retirement is well within Church Doctrine," according to a spokesma for the Church's Office of Truth and Doctrine. The Church takes special pride in our President's sycophantic faith, and we sing Praises to his self-righteous Republican ass kissing admirers. Church Saints are being born everyday within our hollowed halls of government.
Suck up Go up!
NOW! All The Branches, Published by The Church of Sycophantology, 2018.
George Demetrios Papadopoulos, a member of Our Church.
Our Master's Power
Former Trump adviser, the first charged in Mueller probe, asks judge to spare him jail time.
“Caught off-guard by an impromptu interrogation, Mr. Papadopoulos misled investigators to save his professional aspirations and preserve a perhaps misguided loyalty to his master,” an apparent reference to Trump.”
Excerpt, Washington Post, September 1, 2018.
An affinity of humankind for sycophantic behaviors has, according to Social Science researchers, been identified as innate, commencing at birth. The researchers, however, could find no evidence of fetal sycophantic behavior though they did not rule it out. "We are looking at the Evangelical Movement to fund future research," researchers state.
According to the anonymous research published in The Journal for Sycophantology, babies are born with the innate ability to ingratiate themselves to their mother or the person who feeds them. Eye contact or googling creates a loving bond which encourages feeding and adoring attention. Displeasure, in the form of loud boisterous crying, serves as a contrast to the ingratiating behavioral characteristics and, as a consequence, gives the sycophantic behavior an added power.
Sycophantic behavior continues over a lifetime as the mother is replaced by other powerful figures: father, teacher, police, political + religious leaders. ”Dependency and power relationships are built into society so sycophantology is inevitable,” the researchers conclude.
The study was commissioned by the Institute for the Study of Sycophantology, Pharmaceutical Division. It was conducted over a period of ten years. One child was followed from birth to old age. The results were then, using sophisticated algorithms, generalized to the entire population.
Anti-sycophantic drugs tests are currently being conducted. The drugs are meant to encourage infant independence, beginning at birth. Infants would be able to feed, bath, walk and talk and even "order for delivery" at birth. A drug for fetal independence is not far in the future. Both are based upon the theory that maturity can be sped-up by the activation of the appropriate gene(s).
THE ART OF THE DEAL
"In other words, it was a normal cabinet meeting in the age of Trump. What was once considered a dry policy discussion among restrained public servants has turned into a kind of West Wing performance art, featuring a president prone to exaggeration and his advisers taking turns praising him and his policies.
By now, the ritual has become familiar, like a monthly installment of a faithfully watched reality show with a story line that has become almost comically consistent."
RIGHT ON SONNY!
"He asked Sonny Perdue, the agriculture secretary, how American farmers are faring. “The farmers like Trump,” the president said. They’re selling the corn, and they’re selling the soybean, and they’re selling everything at levels that are soon going to be pretty good levels,” Mr. Trump said. “I’m hearing it’s starting to really pick up.”
Prices for agricultural exports fell last month by the largest percentage in seven years, driven in large part by a major drop for soybeans.
Mr. Perdue pushed back a bit, but only gently.
“Obviously there are some price constraints right now,” he began. But, Mr. Perdue told the president, the farmers were keeping the faith. “They believe what you’re doing in China, as you’ve tried to indicate to them, will lead to a better and brighter future,” Mr. Perdue said."
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/16/us/politics/trump-cabinet-meetings.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fpolitics